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Brian was an aspiring poet who taught guitar to children to make ends meet and slept on a mattress in a dingy Bushwick apartment. After the third, he told me he was going to California for a week but would be in touch when he got back. Should I have acted more indifferent when he said he would be in touch when he got back, maybe responded with a casual, “Cool, sounds good,” instead of, “Great! I got married a few months ago to a guy that, from the beginning, I really liked and he really liked me back!When you go on a quest to figure out how he feels, your fears and insecurities will inevitably get activated and this will come across.Most mainstream dating advice focuses on how you behave when really, your vibe is what determines if a guy will be drawn to you or repelled from you.Why is it that the commitment and the proclamations of love and devotion only seem to come from the guys you don’t want and not the ones you do?